


Carve me like one of your Pumpkins

by fixme_in_fortyfive



Category: Fall Out Boy
Genre: Fobtober, Gen, Jack-o'-lanterns, Pumpkins
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-07
Updated: 2016-10-07
Packaged: 2018-08-20 01:12:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,620
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8231068
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fixme_in_fortyfive/pseuds/fixme_in_fortyfive
Summary: Pete loves Halloween. He just really- gets into it. But maybe he shouldn't do everything that comes to his head. He just hopes Patrick can help him. 
FOBTOBER 2016 | Pumpkin Carving/Jack-O-LanternsNo actual pumpkins were harmed during the writing of this fic.





	

**Author's Note:**

> In my head, this was a beautiful cute little thing and then it turned into this.

Pete might actually go crazy. It’s been two hours since he talked to Patrick and he’s slowly freaking out.

It had all been fun when he was first taking pictures in the yard and scared the neighbors kids. No he’s not too old for that and yes, even a responsible father can scare little children if he wants to.

When he realized his problem it had been less _funny_ and more _scary_. He was alone – thank god Bronx was still with his mom, he doesn’t want to scare his own kid – and at first had no idea what to do.

It was kind of funny again when he called Joe for help and they laughed, because Pete thought Joe was joking when he said he would not come to help him. Turns out he wasn’t joking, Joe just didn’t believe him. And Pete gets that, really, he would have a hard time believing this, too, but it happened to him and it’s not funny and he needs help.

Now he feels like he can’t breathe and he really can’t stand the smell of pumpkin anymore. It’s everywhere and he might never enjoy another piece of pumpkin-pie ever again.

Stupid Joe with his stupid humor, not believing Pete. And of course Joe had called _Andy_. By the time Pete gotten around to call him Andy was already laughing about it. Pete is just glad they hadn’t called Patrick.

But Pete didn’t want Patrick to laugh at him, too, so he didn’t tell him that it was an emergency and that might be the reason why Patrick hadn’t hurried over. Apparently he had been busy when Pete called, but they had made plans for later anyway and Patrick was coming over then.

Great.

Since then he had taken some more pictures, ate some Halloween-candy and played around with his phone. But his head felt unusually heavy and now he’s just lying on the couch.  It might get complicated when he tries to get up again.

He swears he will never do something like that ever again when this is over. This is worse than the dick pictures, save for the _it’s-on-the-internet-and-everyone-can-see-including-your-grandma-_ part.

The highly anticipated knock  has Pete standing up fast and almost topples over, what with his balance all screwed up. He just barely avoids running into the doorframe.

It’s dark in the house – part of his haunted-house décor this year, he’s rather proud of himself at least in that case – and without thinking he opens the door, greeting Patrick with a loud exclamation. He just hadn’t thought about what would inevitably happen.

It’s not only because his shout is too loud and it’s too dark that Patrick hastily retreats backwards, his face ashen. There might even have been a girly-scream, but whatever, Pete is not judging.

He looks like he’s seen a ghost. Or a walking, talking pumpkin-faced scarecrow, which is exactly what Patrick is looking at.

**Look** – it seemed like a hilarious idea a few hours before; carving out a pumpkin with a creepy jack-o-lantern face and wearing it over his head. Underneath he’s wearing a black balaclava, so his eyes and mouth wouldn’t be visible. Yeah, he took some great pictures and he had the neighbors kids running away screaming. Pretty funny, definitely better than all these fake pumpkin-masks to put on.

But when he tried to remove the thing, because Pete didn’t pick any random pumpkin, no he looked for the biggest fucking pumpkin he could find…. well, it stuck to his head.

“Patrick” he repeats.

Patrick looks warily at him when he comes closer, one little step at a time. It takes him a few seconds to recognize Pete.

„God, you scared the crap out of me. What… is this?“

Normal people would have just told something like ‘ _carved a pumpkin, put it over my head, now it’s stuck_ ’ but Pete can’t see the fun in that. Besides, it was a stupid question, because everyone could clearly see what he did.

„A witch cursed me and turned my head into a pumpkin.”

Patrick looks utterly confused, almost like Pete had just told him about the three-horned dog in his living room. Confusion is written all over his face.

 “Yeah, only true love’s kiss can help me turn back.”

If Pete’s head were not stuck Patrick could see his eyebrows wiggling suggestively.

“Wanna make out?”

But as it is, he can only see the smile Pete carved himself and he doesn’t look impressed. If anything, he looks a little scared off.

~

The fact that Pete thought it would be a good idea to wear a jack-o-lantern over his head doesn’t surprise Patrick. It’s such a Pete-thing. That he can’t get it off now, doesn’t surprise him either.  Another Pete –thing, you learn to live with that.

That probably also explains why he sounded so muffled on the phone before; like these guys in movies, talking with a cloth over the phone to negotiate ransom for a kidnapping.

„Wait… was that why you called earlier?“

If he had known, he would have stopped playing around with garage band.

It’s hard to read Pete’s face – at all – due to the giant pumpkin with the, admittedly perfectly, carved smile.

„-maybe. Well, yes to the pumpkin, maybe to the making out. “ Pete’s hand raises to his head, already in midair, but then he stops, probably because he realizes he can’t touch his head. It’s almost funny. Patrick is talking to a big, pumpkin-headed, dressed-like-a-scarecrow Pete.

„Why didn’t you say something, that was hours ago.“

A big, pumpkin-headed dressed-like-a-scarecrow Pete on the phone with him.  Funny.

“Well, I called Joe and Andy and they just laughed at me and didn’t believe me. I didn’t want you to laugh at me, too.”

“So, what, did you just sit here the whole time?”

„Yeah. I also took some pictures. They look really cool, I’ll show you later. But this head gotten kind of heavy so I lay down and just- y’know.”

“Let’s… get inside first.”

He follows Pete inside, wary of his swaying pumpkin-head. They settle in the living room and Patrick takes in the mess Pete made. Carving utensil across the table, gooey pumpkin seeds on and around a wooden cutting board that is obviously too small to hold it all and a few smeared papers on the couch that look a lot like carving-instructions. It honestly looks a lot like a five-year old had been at work here.

Pete sits down on the couch. He tries to lay backwards, which almost makes his pumpkin-head fall over the back of the couch. It looks pretty miserable.

“So, what do you want me to do?“Patrick gingerly takes a seat next to Pete.

„I don’t‘ know, carve me out of here? I tried to break the pumpkin, but it didn’t work and I think I broke my mom’s book-shelf.“ Pete is gesticulating with his hands and it looks weird with his carved in expression. Patrick tries to imagine Pete’s failed attempt to free himself; if he broke the shelf he probably bashed his head against it.

„At least it’s not a turkey,“ Patrick mumbles, more to himself, but Pete hears it anyway.

„Why would I put a turkey over my head?“

„No reason at all. Let’s carve you out of there.”

Patrick takes the carving-knife and looks at Pete again. Of course it’s not one of these cheap things you buy in a dollar store, no, it’s a really sharp-looking actual knife. Patrick is glad Pete didn’t try to carve himself out, he would probably have cut himself.

This is exactly Patrick’s fear, too, though. He has no idea how to start. Normally you just stick it in and carve away, but then again, normally there’s not a human inside.

“Okay, hold still.”

Patrick takes Pete’s pumpkin-chin in his hand and hold him in place. He presses the knife down right next to the carved-in smile and takes a deep breath, but when he pushes a little harder Pete’s head gives way to the pressure.

That’s not going to work.

“Okay, actually, better lie down,” Patrick says, unwilling to declare defeat just yet.

Pete does, probably glad to not bear the weight of the pumpkin and Patrick sits down beside him again, bend over his pumpkin-face.

When he presses the knife down again it slides smoothly through the pumpkin. He’s working for a few minutes in silence when Pete starts talking again.

“I’m actually a little bit offended that you didn’t try true love’s kiss.”

Patrick smiles, but otherwise doesn’t move, too concentrated on not cutting Pete. In one place he at least cut the balaclava, a small hole in the fabric showing Pete’s dark skin underneath.

“Don’t get all sappy on me.”

“No, really. That could have been our great big chance and you ruined it. Now we’ll never know.”

Patrick rolls his eyes, but he’s had years of training handling Pete’s flirting, so this is a no-brainer.

“Fine,” he says and dips down to place a kiss on Pete’s pumpkin-forehead. That might be the first time he kissed a pumpkin;, actually not so weird, a little rough.

There’s a beat of silence when nothing happens – as expected.

“Guess it’s not true love after all.”

Patrick keeps on carving and Pete doesn’t say anything.  

~

In the end Patrick succeeds in carving Pete out of his pumpkin-prison. And not too soon; shortly after his mom arrives with Bronx and Pete is really glad he doesn’t need to explain to his son why his dad has a pumpkin-head. It would have probably scared him half to death. Not so funny when it’s your own children.

Somehow he can’t forget what Patrick said about the turkey.

**Author's Note:**

> If you like it, comments and kudos are much appreciated. Or shoot me an ask on my [tumblr](http://thatguyinachiffonskirt.tumblr.com/) (still self-promoting, because nobody else does)


End file.
